As good as a nice cup of tea, and a sit down.

Thursday, 24 June 2010

Chickenhawk/Dysrhythmia Gig

Good gig this one. We were chewing the riffs in the air they were so beefy.

Nice facial expression from Ryan Clark.

And again.

The Pitchfork review of the last Dysrhythmia album suggested that if life was fair, Kevin Hufnagel would be bigger than Slash. I'm inclined to agree with them, the man is a wizard.

If you'd like to know what we thought, here's the full review with Hannah-Rachel's pictures for This is Fake DIY. Enjoy, rockers!

Thursday, 17 June 2010


I would provide photographic images to go with this update, but they would be disturbing. So here's a short summary of what I saw:

1. Man naked in mud, being whipped in time by angry mob to Billy Idol's 'White Wedding.'

2. Fat Cyber Goth in pink foil hotpants and a bra, bending right over infront of my tent at 8.30am. Sinead, it was lovely to meet you! Please start wearing underwear.

3. Wandering into the Metal Hammer party by accident. Accquainting myself with Napalm Death's manager, who then offered to introduce me to someone from Lamb of God. I have no idea who Lamb of God are.

4. Dads bringing inflatable guitars to AC/DC, placing more emphasis on fretwork than the average "air guitar."

5. A Dad, upon seeing this, improvising and playing his leg to 'Whole Lotta Rosie.'

6. Captain Dildo: Forty plus hefty bloke in underpants and a cycle helmet, with a dildo sellotaped to the top.

7. Countless Trivium T-Shirts

I could go on, but I feel you get the picutre.

Speaking of pictures, we got 'papped' for whilst we were there, have a look here. I'm also in the next issue of Vice 'talking about my download outfit.' Strange times!

My lengthy review of the whole thing can be found here on Contact Music. And yes, I had a very deep bath when I got home.

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

The World's Crappest Music Videos: Parte the Firste

THANKS to all the people that contributed, now bask in the glory:

Stefan Dennis - Don't It Make You Feel Good?

No Stefan, it doesn't. Slightly creeped out, perhaps? I've got to say, the net curtain draped over the pillars is an inspired touch. Is your set designer Deb from Napoleon Dynamite? God bless Neighbours, though. Where else would we get our sub-standard Antipodean pop stars from? Imagine a world without it - perms might not have even become popular.

Brian Harvey - Going Backwardz

East 17's Brian is trying to convince us all he has moved on. Look: he has a girlfriend, and he's taken her on a nice day out to a motorway flyover, and a forest clearing! 100% certain she consented to this? Look at 2mins 30secs. But frequenting the areas of rapists aside, to me he will always be the lovable rogue who 'binged' on 47 jacket potatoes and then ran himself over. Long may he go forwardz.

Armi ja Danny - I Want To Love You Tender

At first I thought the slogan on their jumpers said 'D10', so I wondered if this bad-ass posse of dancers were affliated with the equally bad-ass rap crew. But then I doubt even D10 could afford such ground breaking vision. Their dancing makes flying Chitty Chitty Bang Bang into space with your paedo Uncle seem like a wonderful holiday.

The Blackout Crew - BBBBBOUNCE

AKA: 'If You Liked It Then You Should Have Put A Donk On It.'
That's right, the noise that spews out of cherub's mobiles on the back of the no. 56? It has a name, and it is DONK. I'm assured that Blackout Crew are the best in the land at donking. 'Bbbbbounce' is a reminder that they 'don't mess about.' And these lads certainly haven't on costing! Why pay for professional dancers when you can get your GCSE Geography class to do it for free? And screw getting a proper guest spot from a rapper, Neville's Dad will sit in his Toyota and no one will know the difference

So. We've covered RnB, Dance and 80s Pop. There's a gaping hole in this picture. Yes, of course, it's Death Metal!

Satyricon - Mother North

Taken from the album 'Nemesis Divina.' As God (or even better! Lucifer) as my witness: If anyone can tell me exactly what's going on here, I'll write you a cheque for 20 quid.
But who needs a plot when you've got Greta Big Tits running around in a see through nightie? Exactly.

If you have any more suggestions to add to this already fine selection, I'd love to hear about them. N x

Friday, 4 June 2010

California Dreamin'

There are some gigs I would give a testicle to attend (as soon as I grow one)... but I don't have unlimited air miles, time off work, a money tree or a rich husband.

Until any of these things happen, I am limited to drawing (pointless) attention to things I like. So, here it is: I like Woodsist, and they are having their festival on 12th June in Big Sur, CA. have just released more tickets

When I say 'like', I mean I really love Woodsist. They've put out some of my favourite music of the past few years, including:

REAL ESTATE (Real Estate)

I don't know what they've been putting in the water in New Jersey, but long may it continue. Real Estate was released in late 2009, and it's a beautifully simple, nostalgic record. Drifting and hazy, like a long summer, they have burrowed their way into my subconscious and refused to budge. Basically, I've bored everyone I know to death by bleating about how good it is.

WAVVES (Wavves)

To put it mildly: Nathan Williams did not take very well to success. He had a public brawl with Black Lips, a nervous breakdown onstage at Primavera, cancelled his EU tour and sodded off back to San Francisco.
Despite all this, I hope the tiny brat weathers out the storm, because Wavves was a brilliant 30 minute headrush. Try it yourself: Pick the word 'Beach', 'Punk' or 'Goth,' add a couple of chords and some feedback and there it is. Perfecto.


Though Kurt Vile has now absconded to Matador with his new album Childish Prodigy, it was Woodsist who gave him a leg up by releasing his debut, Constant Hitmaker. As an album it
drives a perfect balance between freaky psychedelia and alt.rock, and channels Neil Young at his most dirge-ridden. And in the true tradition of the grunge forefathers, the man is 60% shiny mane. Bonus!

Mr. Vile will be at the aforementioned festival, along with Real Estate, Moon Duo, Woods and The Fresh and Onlys. Check them out, they're all worthy of investigation.

In need of a plane ticket. If anyone wants to buy my kidneys, O.I.R.O. a grand.

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Around Primavera...

A PHOTOGRAPHIC retelling of our festival experience, thanks to Jethro Perkins...

We had a fun time this weekend.

Sometimes too much.

We made sure we kept hydrated at all times.

Took plenty of food.

...and exercise

Saw some bands

Took some advice...

...and ignored other bits.

Find my review on Contact Music.